Spring may be dragging, but we know what’s coming. With
destinations like Sitges, Mykonos and Gran Canaria ahead, Gay Men Don’t Get Fat
seems the perfect title to help bring in the spirit of low-rise beachwear.
Indeed, Switzerland’s plethora of Cailler croissants, Swiss
apéros and cheese fondues make not getting fat a yearly achievement. But,
before you get too thrilled about learning a gay man’s secrets to keeping slim,
know this book is no dieting guide. Thought it rightfully promises calorie
burning laughter, the book rather states the obvious. Gorgeous gays work hard
at, well, being gorgeous. And yes, that does mean not dipping into globs of
anything that looks overly delicious.
Aside from the catchy title, Gay Men Don’t Get Fat is a
rather annoying (yes, you read it correct, annoying) read from the world’s most
famous window dresser, Simon Doonan. The only thing is, you catch yourself
laughing at loud and are rather forced to continue through the annoyingness to
get to the punches.
Let’s remember, the book is a collection of anecdotes from
its author. And Doonan comes off as the kind of gay guy you’d likely only be
able to tolerate in small doses. Turning the pages, you can almost hear the
whinny screech in his voice rolling through every word. Surely, he’s the type
who opens his mouth and a purse falls out. He’s pretentious, over the top and
riddled in stereotypes. But the reality is, behind all his rants there’s a lot
of truth and history on the inner workings of gay culture. And yes, that often
coincides with fashion and pop culture. Understandably, you probably wouldn’t
want to sit down and share a chardonnay with Doonan, but if you’re a gay man,
his book is worth a read.
What gets a bit muddy is that he also targets (yikes) certain
straight women – the growing numbers across the planet whom are finding
themselves desperately single and downright drabby. We all know one or two of those,
now don’t we? But, as Doonan points out, we do love a tragic girl. All the better
if they can learn from a few queerboys!
Obviously, gay today isn’t like gay yesterday. For younger
gays, Doonan’s rants may just be a worthwhile history lesson, sometimes
overwhelming in outdated references. Yet with shout-outs to Ke$ha, Adele and
the likes, he nicely bridges to the things that modernly matter. Through it
all, he consistently colors his text with catchy French phrases. And, bravo,
there are enough of them to make any Swiss Romand proud!
Now, if you are one of those rare gays that don’t dare to be
seen ‘on the scene.’ This may not be a good read for you. Try Tucker Max's I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell. It’s equally funny but opposingly oriented.
Gay Men Don’t Get Fat promises a laugh. And in the end,
that’s what it’s all about. Now, let’s
believe we don’t get fat, and make it happen because we are queerboys!